January 2024 Newsletter

Tuesday, January 2, 2024 - 5:45pm

Dear friends,

In this issue, we look back with pride at our many accomplishments together in 2023 - our 50th anniversary year - and look ahead to the opportunities in our agency's future, and to the future of peacemaking in our communities.

Looking back, we celebrate our achievements in 2023:

Our dedicated staff closed 1,800 cases, serving close to 4,000 people with dispute resolution services that de-escalate conflicts and provide peaceful pathways to dialogue. Over 50% of our cases involve parenting issues, another 16% are divorce cases, 7% address supports for youth, and about 20% are community/civil issues.

We worked with 20 partner agencies on collaborative grants and contracts, bringing our services to a range of new audiences across our region, including government agencies, school districts, nonprofit organizations, and small businesses.

We renewed 6 ongoing contracts including our Monroe County Family Empowerment Project, Kinship Mediation Project, and Pre-Trial Diversion Project, Ontario County's Department of Social Services and Probation projects, Steuben County's PINS Diversion Project, and our Surrogate Decision-Making Committee grant which serves both the Western and Finger Lakes regions.

We delivered 63 trainings and workshops, delivering state of the art, research-based information and skills training in mediation, conflict management, and diversity/equity/inclusion/belonging (DEIB).

Looking forward, we are excited to announce these new initiatives:

Our soon-to-be published Training Catalog for 2024 is a one-stop resource designed to promote the Center for Dispute Settlement's many training and workshop offerings. A new branding and design layout showcases the beauty and diversity of the 8 counties we serve throughout the Rochester and Finger Lakes region.

We are kicking off our new Restorative Justice Diversion Program for juvenile auto theft and related cases, providing youth who engage in these harmful activities with a collaborative process for accountability, support, and preventive services.

Our "Power of Dialogue" curriculum will continue with community forums designed to support aspiring peacemakers with the mindset and skills to engage in meaningful dialogue across political differences - especially needed during this contentious election year.

Our Anti-Bias Trainings continue with a new expanded 3-hour curriculum, developed in response to feedback from last year's workshops which encouraged longer sessions for more in-depth discussion and learning.

CDS staff will be engaging in professional development using the Transforming White Privilege curriculum, which helps groups explore dominant cultural narratives that advantage some groups and disadvantage others.

We look forward to sharing news about each of these exciting projects - and more - as they develop.

Thank you for being part of our community of peacemakers,

Shira May, Ph.D.

President/CEO

Holiday Gatherings Celebrate Our Communities

On December 14th, staff, board members, volunteers, and community members gathered for our Joint Holiday Party and Fundraiser with Untrapped Ministries, a local grassroots violence prevention organization. As of December 31st, we have concluded our partnership, having served as fiduciary on numerous grants that provided workforce preparation programs, mentorship, and community circles to young people in the city of Rochester.

And on December 30th, the Center for Dispute Settlement co-sponsored Rochester's first ever Holiday Collective event, coordinated by Community Resource Collaborative, and supported by over 25 local organizations. Our President/CEO Dr. Shira May was featured in the media coverage below:

https://www.rochesterfirst.com/news/local-news/holiday-collective-event-celebrated-multiple-cultures/amp/

https://13wham.com/news/local/rochester-community-comes-together-to-hold-first-ever-holiday-collective-event#

Remembering Peter Bibby

Peter Bibby, who served for many years in a variety of roles at CDS including staff, board, advisor, and volunteer, passed away last month. Below are tributes to Peter from those who had the honor of knowing him.

Pictured: Peter Bibby with former Executive Director Andrew Thomas, and with Executive/Program Assistant Dorethea Jackson-Smith

Tribute to Peter L. Bibby:

Mediator, Facilitator, Conciliator, Trainer, Mentor, Staff Member, and Board Member

By Andrew Thomas

There are people who pass through our lives, become woven into our sense of what is and what should be, and we can never be the same again for having known them. Peter Bibby was such a person.

Peter received his original mediation training with the Rochester Office of the American Arbitration Association Center for Dispute Services in the mid 1970’s. The Center for Dispute Services is the precursor to the now Center for Dispute Settlement (CDS). Peter was a longstanding very loyal, dedicated, and hardworking member of the CDS team for over 33 years. The resume of CDS’s accomplishments is long and impressive; however, I am most impressed by the longevity of CDS volunteerism that Peter is a testament too. Peter has set a standard with his longevity for others to follow. Not only was Peter actively involved with CDS, but he was also highly active in the Greater Rochester community working with several youth organizations. Opening doors of opportunity for disadvantaged youth in Rochester was Peter’s calling. In addition to all of Peter's volunteer work in the community, he was a gifted artist and renowned tennis player - two gifted talents that he also used to change the lives of youth in a positive way.

When I joined the CDS staff in 1979 as the Executive Director I was fortunate to have visionary individuals like Peter affiliated with the agency. During his tenure with CDS he exemplified the utmost respect and passion for human rights, social justice, and individuals’ civil rights. He was an advocate for strengthening relationships and building bridges between people and organizations to improve communication and fostering cooperation and collaboration. Peter had a keen and deeply rooted understanding of the value of peaceful dispute resolution processes and held the mission of CDS “To use and promote peaceful dispute resolution processes throughout our communities” in the highest regard. Being an ADR visionary, Peter was constantly looking for new and innovative applications of ADR.

As I reflect on the past and Peter’s involvement with CDS I think about the paths paved for innovative programs in unchartered waters that he was instrumental in establishing. These programs include juvenile mediation, police-community relations, New York State Division of Human Rights Discrimination Mediation, Agricultural mediation, Migrant Mediation, Clinton Mini Dispute Resolution project, Stop the Violence Campaign, Peer Mediation, and the 1991 HBO documentary "Attempted Murder: Confrontation" about a victim-offender mediation. In all the roles that Peter filled at CDS, he was a role model and demonstrated a cheerful outlook, enthusiasm, and a core belief in the capacity of people to work through their differences with the right type of support. In addition to mediating hundreds of cases in various programs, Peter was instrumental in the establishment of numerous programs at CDS, and I want to highlight just a few which set CDS apart from other community mediation centers across the country.

1. Project Re-Direct: CDS was the lead trainer and public relations component for a unique outreach program to address the growing problem of youth violence in the City of Rochester. Peter was CDS’ key staff and co-trainer. The project was a success and served as the foundation for the Pathways to Peace Program implemented by the City of Rochester.

2. Stop The Violence Campaign: CDS was designated as the point agency to spearhead an aggressive media campaign to raise community awareness of youth violence. This campaign included the production of two public services announcements, bumper stickers, t-shirts, and pins. During the campaign CDS adopted the slogan “Let Peace Begin with Me." Peter graciously gave of his artistic talents and public relations knowledge to support the program.

3. CDS Day Reporting Center: Peter served as a co-facilitator and trainer for the Day Reporting Center, a pilot project created by Rochester City Court, the 7th Judicial District, Pre-Trial Diversion, and CDS. The project targeted first time minor offenders between the ages of 18-24. The participants were released by a judge on conditional discharge to participate in anger management, conflict management, communication, and life skills classes.

4. Police Community Relations/Citizens Review Board: Peter was a cornerstone in the evolution of this program from 1980, serving multiple roles that included planning committee member, trainer, panelist, and program director.

5. HBO Documentary "Attempted Murder: Confrontation": Peter participated in a high-profile victim offender mediation case that was televised by HBO. The mediation was conducted at Elmira Maximum Security Correctional Facility and was the first time such a mediation was allowed in a maximum-security prison in the country.

6. CDS Lapel Pin: Peter designed CDS logo and the lapel pin that is given to mediators for their services.

Peter served on the CDS Board of Directors for approximately 12 years and during that time he also served on numerous committees and advisory boards. Because of his commitment to ADR, Peter was asked to serve on the 7th Judicial District Advisory Board for ADR. In recognition of Peter's long and outstanding services, he received numerous awards from CDS including the Mediator of the Year and the coveted Janus Award.

The ability to deal with people experiencing a crisis in their human interaction requires a special talent, gift, skill set and ability. Not everyone can do it, Peter was special. So, Peter, I say thank you for your 33 years of service to CDS, thank you for your commitment and dedication to peaceful dispute resolution, and thank you for believing in the mission and work of CDS. The many accomplishments of CDS could not have happened without the services of people like Peter.

"Peter Bibby was a force. He was a one-man movement. The Center for Dispute Settlement is the organization it is today, in large part, due to Peter Bibby's contributions.

If one has the privilege of viewing any of his artistry, it would give a glimpse into his deep thinking and wisdom."

-Sherry Walker-Cowart, former President/CEO

CDS Staff Serve as Officers on NYSDRA's

Board of Directors

This month, CDS President/CEO Shira May became the new Board Vice President of the New York State Dispute Resolution Association (NYSDRA). CDS Director of Ontario/Yates County Kim Reisch continues in her second year as Board Secretary.

The Center for Dispute Settlement is a proud member of NYSDRA, which is the membership association for conflict resolution professionals in New York State.

NYSDRA manages several mediation and arbitration contracts for state and federal agencies and provides a variety of trainings to its network of professionals. As one of the Community Dispute Resolution Centers (CDRCs) that service the 62 counties throughout New York state, CDS partners with NYSDRA to receive reimbursement for Special Education/Early Intervention mediations, Lemon Law Arbitrations, and other programs. CDS also receives annual grant funding from NYSDRA through the New York State Interest on Lawyer Account Fund (IOLA). This year, we received a $5,000 grant that contributed to our funding for our 50th anniversary gala held in August of 2023.

For more information, visit https://www.nysdra.org/

Custody Isn't Just For Kids: Making Sense of Pet Custody

by Maia Taub, Program Manager,

Monroe County Custody & Visitation Program

Raise your hand if you've got a pet. I do! I am the proud mother of two cats, Ziva Louise and Emily Elizabeth. Ziva is the black one and Emmy is the ginger.

As a woman without human children, it's hard for me to imagine myself in the place of my custody and visitation mediation clients until I think about all of the things that have come up in trying to co-parent my cats. I live with my parents, and although Ziva is generally regarded as mine, Emmy is shared with my father. We don't always agree on how to raise them; we all provide care for them, but in different ways. Thankfully, my family is full of love and when we disagree, we're always looking for ways to reconcile.

That's not true in every household.

When relationships start, sometimes the people in them decide to get pets together -- and then the relationship ends. What do you do when there's a custody dispute over Fido? Pet custody mediation is the wave of the future when it comes to situations like these.

Pet mediation tends to come up mostly in the context of divorce, but there is no reason any two (or more!) people who previously shared a pet can't come to the table and work out an agreement for themselves about who makes the decisions for the pet, where the pet will live, and how often, if at all, the other person will see the pet. When I'm writing a parenting agreement, these are the three main components I know Family Court is interested in.

But there's no reason to stop there. What happens, for example, if the person who "gets" Fluffy in the breakup can't care for her anymore? Debra Hamilton, a pet custody expert, recommends provisions for that possibility because she's seen pets be taken to shelters by Animal Control when there was another person who had once been that pet's companion who could have, and might well have, taken on the pet's care themselves. Fluffy can go back to her other human. But the humans involved have to make it clear somehow that the other person is consulted before any other step is taken to determine Fluffy's future!

There are also financial considerations, such as pet care costs. Pet insurance may be an expense pet parents can't swing, and it doesn't cover grooming or boarding. You can decide whether and how to split pet care costs in mediation. It is possible to write this into a separation agreement if the two of you are mediating a divorce, and some matrimonial courts will enforce "pet support" determined in this way.

You don't need to be separated in order to mediate provisions for your pet's future. If you feel you cannot draw up a document on your own, but would like a mediator to assist you in holding the conversation, feel free to contact the Center for Dispute Settlement! We are here for all of your mediation needs -- and the needs of your four-legged friends.

Celebrating

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

By Subrata Paul and Alise Mahr,

Racial Equity Leadership (RELC) Team

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was one of the most prominent leaders in the civil rights movement from 1955 until 1968, when he was assassinated. He participated in and led marches for the right to vote, desegregation, labor rights, and other civil rights.

King oversaw the 1955 Montgomery bus boycott and helped organize the nonviolent 1963 protests in Birmingham, Alabama as well as the Selma to Montgomery marches. During these protests, while the marchers followed nonviolent practices, they often faced violence. The civil rights movement achieved pivotal legislative gains in the Civil Rights Act of 1964, Voting Rights Act of 1965, and the Fair Housing Act of 1968.

King was one of the leaders of the 1963 March on Washington, where he delivered his famous "I Have a Dream" speech on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. It was one of many memorable speeches he gave during his lifetime.

On October 14, 1964, King won the Nobel Peace Prize for combating racial inequality through nonviolent resistance and donated the prize money to further the civil rights movement. In his speech, King spoke about the urgent need for support and the long road ahead to end racial injustice in the United States. He concluded that the award was granted in recognition "that nonviolence is the answer to the crucial political and moral question of our time — the need for man to overcome oppression and violence without resorting to violence and oppression."

King said he believed that "unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality."

Watch the entire speech here: Martin Luther King Jr. Nobel Peace Prize Acceptance Speech - YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5r98tT0j1a0

Interested to hear more of his speeches, in his own voice? Check out:

4 of Martin Luther King Jr.'s most memorable speeches | Washington Week with The Atlantic (pbs.org); https://www.pbs.org/weta/washingtonweek/article/2018/04/5-of-martin-luther-king-jrs-most-memorable-speeches

Including:

“I Have a Dream” – Washington, D.C., August 28, 1963 - King stood on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial and called for an end to racism in the United States before a crowd of more than 250,000 people.

“Our God is Marching On” – Selma, Alabama, March 25, 1965 - Delivered after the historic marches from Selma to Montgomery, historians consider this speech to mark the end of the civil rights movement’s first phase focusing on legal and political rights. The movement would later focus on fighting for economic equality.

“Beyond Vietnam: A Time to Break the Silence” – Riverside Church in New York City, April 4, 1967 - King condemned the Vietnam War at a time when a majority of Americans still supported the effort.

“I’ve been to the Mountaintop” – Memphis, Tennessee, April 3, 1968 - King emphasized the importance of unity and nonviolent protest in the fight for justice, no matter how painful the struggle.

The Center for Dispute Settlement offices will be closed on Monday, January 15, in observance of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.

Volunteer of the Month:

Cathy Granita

Date certified: 2023

Cathy recently completed her Custody and Visitation mediation apprenticeship and has jumped right in to help people in Livingston County find peaceful resolutions to conflict.

Prior to volunteering at the Center for Dispute Settlement, Cathy worked for Livingston County for 33 years. She worked as a Welfare Examiner and Caseworker at Livingston County Department of Social Services and also as a Mental Health Therapist at Livingston County Mental Health.

As a mediator, Cathy recognizes the importance of self-direction as it relates to parties involved in conflict, and she believes in the importance of mediation as it is “a safe place for the parties to come to a resolution about their issue in terms that personally suit their needs.”

When she is not mediating, Cathy enjoys spending time oil painting, geocaching, metal detecting, gardening, and traveling.

We are so grateful to have Cathy on board at CDS supporting the mission to use and promote peaceful dispute resolution processes throughout our community!

Staff Updates

Welcome to our Accounting Clerk, Bonnie Feeney!

Bonnie comes to CDS with extensive experience in the financial industry. Bonnie brings positivity, encouragement, and grace to her work on our finance team. She is always there to lend a hand, a smile, and a supportive word to her colleagues.

She is also a former caterer and an expert at crochet!

Please join us in welcoming Bonnie to the CDS family.