Making Peace & Staying Positive
Here we are at the beginning of another year, and while some people scoff at the idea of making false and unattainable new year resolutions, there is a natural sense of renewal ingrained in us to reevaluate, recharge, and renew ourselves at this time of year. While trying to make huge changes overnight is not the path to success for most (although it certainly is not out of the realm of possibility), the new year is a great time to build or reinforce a foundation of strong habits that will bring you the peace and positivity that we all need and deserve. Here are two practices to help your emotional and mental state – and where the mind leads, the body tends to follow!
REALISTIC OPTIMISM
Ideas and practices that can help you get on the path to personal contentment include finding that spot between the overly optimistic and the painfully pessimistic viewpoints. While the former can definitely help you on the ‘positive charge’ the battery of your life needs, it can also create blind spots in you and others in your life who may who feel you don’t fully recognize their struggles. Of course, persistent pessimism is a corroding feature – and it can be contagious, so you must beware of it in yourself and the people that are in your orbit. But a dose of dissatisfaction can also spur one to make changes for the better, so it definitely can serve a purpose.
The position we suggest you strive for is definitely optimistic but ‘realistic optimism’ that can acknowledge that there may be problems or negative perceptions of certain situations yet stays firmly rooted in the belief that positive solutions are always available. Sometimes a positive resolution is an acknowledgment that particular pursuit, job, or relationship has run its natural course and it is time to move on. Realistic optimism puts a value on yourself and on others; its guiding principle is that even through tough times, a better way will be found.
REFRAMING
Another very valuable habit you can put into practice is to reframe situations in a positive way. This technique may on its surface seem overly simplistic to some or an attempt to gloss over the negative, but when used consistently it may well be the most valuable mental tool to ward off the corrosive effects of persistent negative thought patterns – which many have come to believe are the most destructive element to a person’s well-being. Reframing a thought basically means that you choose to change the way you perceive whatever a given situation may be – think of it as looking at a painting or a photograph from a slightly different angle – so you can convert a negative thought into positive action.
When one of your children frustrates you, for instance, it can be a chance to reflect on a time that you frustrated a parent or a loved one in the past, reminding you that they are not personally antagonizing you as much as going through natural growing pains. It may be an opportunity to open a dialogue with them by sharing a past experience and strengthening a connection rather than yelling in frustration and fraying your bond with them. Reframing can take a thought like ‘everybody at work is complaining a lot’ and convert it to an upbeat action. Instead of buying into the constant complaining, break a pattern by starting a lunch group where everyone takes a turn picking a new take-out restaurant to try or everyone bringing in a dish to pass, or perhaps a movie of the week club. This diverts focus from the negative or ‘same old same old’ situation and allows people to look forward to something and create exchanges that are positive, curious, and constructive rather than the opposite.
These are just a couple of basic but powerful processes that can do a lot to establish an internal sense of peace and a positive outlook for you and others around you. We will continue to explore other beneficial personal habits to incorporate into your life as we continue into 2019, a year that we want to be filled with serenity and harmony for you and your loved ones.
